This seems an apt prelude when we are still not healed - in the body, mind, spirit or even materially! The title is taken from the first verse of Psalm 130.
"Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy."
I am in the depths - not just low, but really in the depths... Like a bottomless pit or the ocean floor. I acknowledge I need help. I can't get out on my own... I know You can help me. I don't deserve you to listen to me, but please listen! I am crying - for mercy (for I well deserve the pit, I got myself into it). Yet, please, pay close attention to me, to my cry for mercy!
"If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared."
I have done plenty of wrongs. If you keep a record and punish me for it, I can't even survive - none of us humans can. But dear God, Your heart is forgiving. That is what gives me hope... That is what makes me reverence You and keeps me from rebelling against You.
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning."
I am so helpless Lord, there is nothing else I can do but wait... so hard-pressed, I wait for You to answer me, waiting, waiting, waiting... for this ordeal to be over, waiting like the night watchman waits for the morning, to put his shift behind and go home. Lord, I too want to put this behind me, put the dark night of the pit behind and walk out into the sunshine, into daylight once more... like going home...
"O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins."
If your heart is heavy and your spirit is down, at the bottom of the bottomless pit or the floor of the deepest ocean, put your name there substituting it for the word 'Israel' and read it again...
Lord, I put my hope in You, in Your unfailing love - for though I do not deserve and I always seem to fail, You are unfailing and You are ever-loving, not counting my sins against me... So I put my hope in You - not in myself, not in my education, not in my career, not in my money, not in my family, not in my friends or anything or anyone else. I put my hope in You. You alone can redeem me. I cannot redeem myself. You will redeem me. I will wait and hope - not because of my goodness, not because of my love for You but because of Your love for me.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
So, why are many still not healed?
Very valid question, discussed by many great persons from time immemorial, to nobody's complete satisfaction I suppose (doesn't complete satisfaction come with the pre-requisite of healing?!!)
We will discuss this soon!
We will discuss this soon!
Miracles: Are they for real?
We often hear about miracles that happen to people, but so long as it hasn't happened to us, how do we know it was for real? Did these people have a proven disease to start with? Was it investigated and documented? Did they have any form of treatment? Homeopathic/Ayurvedic/Chinese or other native forms? Did they get healed beyond reasonable doubt? Was the healing again medically proved by investigations and documented? Have they suffered a relapse since?
Out of sheer curiosity I asked a forum of doctors to share such 'miracles' and here are a couple of amazing finds.
This one is from a cardiologist:
Here is one from our time in General Surgery:
About 4 years ago, while running our own small general surgical practice in Madurai, a young couple walked into OP. She had jaundice which a scan revealed to be caused by stones in the CBD. Her gall bladder was packed with stones and sludge. Stones had also spilled into her Common Bile Duct. There were multiple ones, some larger than 1.5 cm.
We advised her to go in for a laproscopic cholecystectomy with ERCP and basketing. As we did not have the facility and this was not available anywhere in Madurai at the time, we referred her to CMC, Vellore.
For reasons of financial and social support, they decided they could not go all the way to Vellore (both were orphans, brought up in an orphan home, with no known close family for support and had 2 children). They asked for an open cholecystectomy, but we instead offered to speak to our friends in Vellore to get some help for them. The couple did not show up after that and we learnt they had been accepted by another surgeon for an open cholecystectomy and CBD exploration.
A month later, both walked into our OP again, faces wreathed in smiles. Assuming she must be post-op, we asked how the surgery had been and if she was alright now. Her answer stunned us. She said, "Doctor, I am alright, but there has been no surgery. We went to ----- Hospital and I was given a date for surgery. They repeated the scan and found the same stones. I asked the surgeon for one week time. I went home, fasted and prayed, "Jesus, I have no mother and no father to be with me or give me money but I have these stones. You are my mother and my father. You have to take care of me." At the end of the week, at a particular instant, I knew I was healed. I went back to ----- Hospital to be admitted. I requested the surgeon to repeat the ultrasound just to check one more time before the surgery. This time, there were no stones anywhere! The doctors were so surprised, they repeated the scan again, but still there was nothing! So we came here to tell you!"
After getting over the 'shock' we sent her back to the sonologist who had done her first scan with a letter giving details of the story. The sonologist repeated a scan for free to check and she also found everything clear, no stones or sludge anywhere!
Though personally, I have not experienced a miracle of such scale, I do believe they can happen. We still do not know all the ways of nature but God, who created nature, holds it in His sway; yet He listens to and watches over a woman humbly praying behind closed doors. To me thats just great!
Out of sheer curiosity I asked a forum of doctors to share such 'miracles' and here are a couple of amazing finds.
This one is from a cardiologist:
In cardiology we routinely see people denying surgery for triple vessel disease and live long, may be longer than the ones operated and think it's a miracle. These can be explained by science, reason and the exaggerated fear of "heart problem".
I don't believe in such miracles.
There was this one particular incident that I think IS/WAS a miracle or an unexplained medical mystery.
There was a man from Thanjavur, with a Hindu name, who was admitted for Coronary angiography followed by AVR (Aortic valve replacement) , the following day. When I did his ECHO, his gradient across the Aortic valve was 128 mmHg peak, which qualified him for severe Aortic Stenosis. The ECHO is supposed to be accurate for the estimation of AS severity. The patient asked me if I'm sure of the severity of AS while I was doing the ECHO. I was a bit annoyed, but he kept querying the gradients and said "Please be sure" etc. The next day morning the patient called me in the morning and wanted to repeat the ECHO. I asked my colleague to do it and he confirmed the findings.
While he was on the table for coronary angiography and I was busy inserting a sheath in his femoral artery, again he asked " Doctor, do you think I will need surgery?" . I said bluntly "Yes, sometimes you need to accept it". I proceeded with the angiography. His valve was calcified, and while trying to engage the right coronary, the catheter entered the left ventricle unintentionally. I would have never attempted that on a severe calcific aortic stenosis (It is difficult to even pass a wire through the stenotic aortic valve). Now we had a direct pressure measurement from the left ventricle and the gradient across the aortic valve on pull-back was 26 mmHg. I was lost in disbelief and actually repeated it and recorded it on paper. Seeing all the excitement in the lab the patient calmly asked "it's normal, isn't it?". I had to swallow all the big talk I had given earlier and say "yes".
He said, "Doctor, I have a promise from God, that I will not need surgery, that's why I asked you to check so many times". He happened to be a converted Christian and had this unshakable faith that he will not need surgery. This is after allowing us to post him on the list and paying the amount for the surgery. He of course, didn't have the surgery.
He is still asymptomatic and is on follow up for > 5 years. I don't dare to discuss the ECHO gradient with him anymore.
Here is one from our time in General Surgery:
About 4 years ago, while running our own small general surgical practice in Madurai, a young couple walked into OP. She had jaundice which a scan revealed to be caused by stones in the CBD. Her gall bladder was packed with stones and sludge. Stones had also spilled into her Common Bile Duct. There were multiple ones, some larger than 1.5 cm.
We advised her to go in for a laproscopic cholecystectomy with ERCP and basketing. As we did not have the facility and this was not available anywhere in Madurai at the time, we referred her to CMC, Vellore.
For reasons of financial and social support, they decided they could not go all the way to Vellore (both were orphans, brought up in an orphan home, with no known close family for support and had 2 children). They asked for an open cholecystectomy, but we instead offered to speak to our friends in Vellore to get some help for them. The couple did not show up after that and we learnt they had been accepted by another surgeon for an open cholecystectomy and CBD exploration.
A month later, both walked into our OP again, faces wreathed in smiles. Assuming she must be post-op, we asked how the surgery had been and if she was alright now. Her answer stunned us. She said, "Doctor, I am alright, but there has been no surgery. We went to ----- Hospital and I was given a date for surgery. They repeated the scan and found the same stones. I asked the surgeon for one week time. I went home, fasted and prayed, "Jesus, I have no mother and no father to be with me or give me money but I have these stones. You are my mother and my father. You have to take care of me." At the end of the week, at a particular instant, I knew I was healed. I went back to ----- Hospital to be admitted. I requested the surgeon to repeat the ultrasound just to check one more time before the surgery. This time, there were no stones anywhere! The doctors were so surprised, they repeated the scan again, but still there was nothing! So we came here to tell you!"
After getting over the 'shock' we sent her back to the sonologist who had done her first scan with a letter giving details of the story. The sonologist repeated a scan for free to check and she also found everything clear, no stones or sludge anywhere!
Though personally, I have not experienced a miracle of such scale, I do believe they can happen. We still do not know all the ways of nature but God, who created nature, holds it in His sway; yet He listens to and watches over a woman humbly praying behind closed doors. To me thats just great!
My thoughts and His thoughts
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts..." (Isaiah 55:8,9; The Bible)
"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!"....... "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." (Psalm 139: 17 & 23; The Bible)
When things appeared to go wrong or at least not the way we wanted or expected, it is human to wonder why. How do we react? Do we sulk and be upset, be stoic and resigned?
When we have committed ourselves into the hands of God, we can rest assured that His thoughts are with us - with us for our good. That is why they are precious to us! His thoughts are also greater than our thoughts, reaching out far higher than where even our thoughts will not let us go. That is precisely why His thoughts are not our thoughts - our thoughts limit us, by our limited knowledge, out limited experience, our limited aspirations. But He knows more - about us and everything else that affects us, He aspires more - for us, than we can do ourselves!
In contrast are my thoughts - when at the point of testing, my thoughts are a wild field of anxiety! When in a fix, my thoughts can be deceptive - deceiving me, leading me to deceive others, my thoughts can be despondent and disastrous to my own well being.
Let His thoughts over-ride, for they are bigger and better. Let my thoughts fade away - for they are too small, too petty.
"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!"....... "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." (Psalm 139: 17 & 23; The Bible)
When things appeared to go wrong or at least not the way we wanted or expected, it is human to wonder why. How do we react? Do we sulk and be upset, be stoic and resigned?
When we have committed ourselves into the hands of God, we can rest assured that His thoughts are with us - with us for our good. That is why they are precious to us! His thoughts are also greater than our thoughts, reaching out far higher than where even our thoughts will not let us go. That is precisely why His thoughts are not our thoughts - our thoughts limit us, by our limited knowledge, out limited experience, our limited aspirations. But He knows more - about us and everything else that affects us, He aspires more - for us, than we can do ourselves!
In contrast are my thoughts - when at the point of testing, my thoughts are a wild field of anxiety! When in a fix, my thoughts can be deceptive - deceiving me, leading me to deceive others, my thoughts can be despondent and disastrous to my own well being.
Let His thoughts over-ride, for they are bigger and better. Let my thoughts fade away - for they are too small, too petty.
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